Never ending, always changing

Grief never ends. But it changes. It’s a passage, not a place to stay.

Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith.

It is the price of love.

-Anon

This year has been nothing like I expected it to be, with plenty of plot twists added into the mix. Like most people I had a general idea of what might happen but at roughly the half way point of 2019 it is safe to say that not much has gone to plan…but that is because  it has been better. Not always ‘by design’ but that’s okay because it has meant that I have grown and been tested outside of my comfort zone.

If we consciously chose to be outside of this I don’t necessarily think that we would push ourselves that hard – however it is interesting to see what I am really made of….

Lately I have been processing the sudden and very recent passing of my Dad, and in some ways I still can’t quite believe it is true.

I am being sharply reminded of how grief feels and since that it was I most want to share with others I am embracing this magnitude of emotions with my family by my side.

I could refer to the five stages of grief as well documented by Elisabeth Kubler Ross as a starting point, although there are of course many more. I am thankful for her work as a guide post to help me at least some way recognise some of my up and down emotions.

For now, it is just important to be easy on myself and ride the roller coaster for as long as I need to.

The gifts of beautiful flowers and condolence cards are close by with comforting words for reassurance which reminds me of the love and support I have received with love and kindness.

Perhaps most important though for right now is to just not resist what surfaces from within that I will privately journal.

Since undertaking a writing course I have discovered how much I want to say and share in the hope that it could assist others when it is my turn to support them.

 

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